12:24

   I cannot shut down my mind. Like an old black & white reel, jagged fragments of my day spool in an endless loop. Images crackle and jump accompanied by snippets of conversations and random thoughts.

It is as quiet as death and dark as a womb. The silence so complete that the only sound is the soft rush of air from the furnace through the floor vent. The drapes billow outward, the fabric quivering ghost-like along the warm draft. It reminds me of the days as a little boy, playing hide and seek. Secured by the innocence of a child, I believed that I had blended into the curtains, despite the fact that my feet were still visible. I would stand as still as I could, trying to control my panting, with the damp heat of my breath washing back onto my face. My chest would hurt. The hurried anticipation would slither down to my crotch and I would almost cry with the insane urge to pee. Sometimes the soft touch of the curtains across my face would give me an erection, my small cock pushing urgently against my shorts. Embarrassment, stirred with passion would flush over me as I hear my sisters footsteps approach.

Then the fridge starts up again, it grumbles and rattles to life in a violent penetration of the senses. The sound annoys me. It has interrupted a rather interesting segment of the movie in my head. I am straddled across the chest of The First. Her breasts cushion my buttocks like a velvet cushion on a throne. Her eyes are closed, her mouth thrown open. Stroking myself against her shimmering tongue and lips. The drone of the toy undulates between loud to soft adding a harsh soundtrack to the performance being acted out in the dimmed light of this bedroom. I start to get an hard again, this time bigger and harder than that of the little boy in the curtains so many years ago.

I reach between my shorts. The bed is cold. As frigid and lifeless as a morgue. The sheets are stiff and unwieldy as if they were brought inside from the crisp winter night outside. My erection softens almost immediately, hastened by the emptiness and indifference of the empty bed. Loneliness is enveloping. Solitude a quiet companion until she returns. It never used to be this way. Once upon a time, solitude would comfort me like the arms of a friend. But her constant presence has been a familiar practice. Like wriggling your toes. Her laugh, her voice, her scent. She is a habit I am unwilling to break. A customary routine that is part and parcel of my day.

Complaining is like masturbating.  If you do it long enough you will get good at it. And the end results can be just as satisfying. 

The results so far:

More snow is on the way.  Blame it on an Alberta Clipper.  Sounds better than a Pineapple Express. Images of a giant pineapple on madly spinning wheels huffing and puffing up a mountain track distract me from the boredom of yet another meeting.  The driver behind the wheel wears a green plume that bounces madly as he feeds coconut juice into its gaping mouth. There’s a giant straw stuck to the thorny skin out of which belches pina coladas, soaking the waiting passengers as it pulls into the station.  They have their mouths wide open.  I have to stifle another yawn. The voices drone on as the Pineapple Express pulls out of the station.  Outside the skies are darkening. 

It snowed again last night.  A pristine white blanket that hid the ugliness of spring melt.  Does that make it 190 cms or 193 cms of snow this winter.  Who's counting? There was a car beached high on a snow mound.  Looked impressive.  Stupid driver, I thought, I guess it takes too much intelligence to slow down. The snow is already starting to melt again as the temperature rises to -1C.  The sun is brilliantly bright in a blue sky.  The refracted rays hurts my eyes but warms my face.  Vitamin D deficiency is a concern for some, depression a sinister shadow that lurks. But not for this weathered soul.  Kept warm by her hand and the comfort of her smile. 

The morning sun pokes its sharp rays like fingers through the blinds behind me.  It's cold this morning just like the coffee. It's quiet too, bereft of her breathing or soft whimpers. It's the first Sunday following the Vernal Equinox. Harvest. Fertility. A new beginning.

~Laura Antoniou, The Marketplace

...no more blush stains on the washroom rug

...the weeds are fighting back through the cracks in the stone

...the scent of a woman's perfume no longer lingers like a ghostly image

...no soft breathing against my shoulder in the still quiet of the night

...bereft is the sound of leather upon soft flesh,

muffled whimpers in to the pillow

...absent is the brush of her lips against my cheek

...vacant is the touch of her warm hand in mind

absence makes the heart grow fonder, it is told. Being apart is the heart's lesson in humility and fortitude.

I await

...With a glint in her eye, she rises and drags her breasts across my rapidly stiffening cock, her hard nipples scraping against the short course hairs of my pubes. Her eyes have not left my face as she places her hands on each arm of the chair, rising from her knees, leaning down to sweep her breasts across my belly to my chest. She pauses, swaying slightly and her nipples graze across mine, catching momentarily with each pass. The rush like soft feathered wings of chittering birds, send a thrill deep into my chest to tingle my member now throbbing against her stomach. I try to reach out for her, but she must have anticipated my movement, for she lays down on me, pressing me down with her full weight. She giggles softly, her breath like a warm wind against my skin, the sound resonating my heightened senses and I feel her tongue, wet and soft lap against my neck as she moans softly with each lick. Drawing a deep breath, releasing it slowly, allowing myself to relax under her, I growl low and deep. The passion flowing through me in a stream of desire, my cock hard and pressed between our bodies I close my eyes. 

And then she bites me. The shock flows through me like a scream, deluging me in sensory overload and I try to bolt upright. "Fuck!", I manage to exclaim, and I hear the sound of her giggle again followed by a growl, feral in carnality.

"Jesus woman, that hurt. What the fuck was that for?"

 

"It was my fancy"

“Lick my neck, right there”, I point to a spot between my chin and collar bone.

 

She smiles pertly up at me from her place between my thighs, her head against one knee. Her cheek presses downwards, skin like chilled ice. Summer meets Winter in one passing caress as she turns her lips to lay a kiss on the inside of my thigh, dragging her tongue across the coarse skin. Her eyes twinkle with a liquid green that sends a shiver up each knot of my spine, but she does not move to comply. Instead she bares her teeth from between her smile, her impertinence like a gauntlet thrown down, a reminder of unfinished business from earlier that day.
I lean back against the soft leather, hands above my head and smirk down at her. Although my flesh has started to tingle and I am struggling to control my breathing I refuse to let her know what consequences her actions already have over me. She continues to gaze up at me, and now her nails rake down the wet trail left by her tongue, a hint of defiance glinting from her eyes. I drag in a long breath and hold it. Blood has already started to flow downwards to tingle the tip of my cock just mere inches from her face. Who will break first? Will she obey? will she voice the question that I know is loud inside her pretty head? or will my stubborn resolve tumble first in the face of this submissive pose she offers to me?

• Four is the smallest composite number, it's proper divisors being 1 & 2.
• Four is the smallest composite number that is equal to the sum of its prime factors.
• Four is the only number in the English language for which the number of letters in it's name is equal to the number itself.
• The Four Matriarchs (foremothers) of Judaism are Sarah, Rebeccah, Leah and Rachel.
• The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ride in the Book of Revelations.
• There are Four terrestrial (or rocky) planets in our Solar System: Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars.
• The mammalian heart consists of Four chambers.
• There are Four human blood groups: A, B, O, AB. 
• It's been Four months since a fateful comment changed my life.